Ending not with a bang, but a whimper

If I'm ever feeling masochistic, I might return to this project. Until then, eh, it was an experience I'll learn from, if nothing else.

Truth be told...I'm getting tired of this shit. No one else seems to give that much of a shit about Head Explode and I can't think of a reason why they should. Maybe it is time to invest my time and energy in more fruitful endeavors.

http://blog.headexplode.net/2012/03/this-is-end-beautiful-friend.html

That is...sad, but kind of understandable. I really like HeadExplode, and it's strange that the dynamic that we had on DA was pretty awesome, but we never got the momentum we needed over here. I still like the boards and read the posts and learn a lot. I just haven't been as active due to work/family issues and being too fucking busy lately to contribute anything of value.

Lysser wrote:That is...sad, but kind of understandable. I really like HeadExplode, and it's strange that the dynamic that we had on DA was pretty awesome, but we never got the momentum we needed over here.

I blame jerefuck, obv.

BANE JEREFCUK

Man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

I just wonder if your disenfranchisement might be with Humanity in general, seen as they build and maintain the JOKE masquerading as The Internet.

I have your back ,
God's Speed

Me thinks thou dost Care too much.
I originally wanted to use Twitter as a means to promote my writing. I spend more time fucking around on Twitter than I do writing. You seem to spend a good amount of time writing, aside from Twitter. Everything in your blog post was perfectly worded. I wouldn't have changed anything, and I loved every sentence.
Your problem isn't your promotion its your audience. It took me this long, after our many conversations, to even check out your blog. I, someone who also cares and digs your style, took this long. I probably wouldn't have checked it out either if I hadn't used Lent as an excuse to take my head out of Twitter's Ass.
You should sell out and write something for the masses. Think of it as foreplay with someone who doesn't want to sleep with you. "Lets just lay in the same bed. We won't touch or anything. O.K. let's just cuddle, we won't kiss or anything like that. O.K. let's kiss but I swear no carressing the no no parts." In the end you should be so casual the audience won't even know that you've engaged in written sex with them.
Hey, who am I to give advice anyway. I haven't written a blog since 2010.

Nice post there.

Ah, it's cavernity! Right on.

Getting the proper audience has been so tough. Tez has tried so hard with the Twitter thing and other outlets, but yeah, what cavernity says is true. You would gain more if you wrote for the masses, but do we want that?

I think where other boards have an advantage is that they attract so many people with the mundane/everyday--an easier access point-- and then out of that mass of people, you get a handful of intelligent people who make worthwhile posts. That's also what makes other boards shitty-- you have to sift through crap before you get to gold.

WE COULD ALWAYS POST STUPID POLITICAL SHIT ALL OVER THE BOARD! Just kidding. Cripes, please no.

By the way, Cavernity, I used to read the stuff on your site quite often before I sort of (or entirely) gave up on Twitter. Glad to see you here.

The two of you have very valid points.

I believe in HeadExplode... although I admit I wasn't paying much attention to it until recently. But that was a growing up thing.

So perhaps if we join Tez in brainstorming, and throwing in a bit of effort, we could somehow work around the problem of having 100 morons to find 1 genius. Anything is possible... it's not that there's a shortage of REAL HUMAN BEINGS or people capable of elevating themselves to that status, it's the informing them that a place for that to happen exists. I find the same challenge with my internet radio station; being a proverbial needle in a haystack... only the needle is pure awesomeness and the haystack is recycled horseshit that has the pleasure of corporate funding.

Maybe?

Cavernity. Hello. So nice of you to drop by. Please, do stick around.

And...

cavernity wrote:Everything in your blog post was perfectly worded. I wouldn't have changed anything, and I loved every sentence.

Thank you. That's a very kind thing to say!

cavernity wrote:
Your problem isn't your promotion its your audience. It took me this long, after our many conversations, to even check out your blog. I, someone who also cares and digs your style, took this long. I probably wouldn't have checked it out either if I hadn't used Lent as an excuse to take my head out of Twitter's Ass.

And you're only the second person out of 30k followers, many of whom I spoke to on a very regular basis in my Twitter heyday, to even register an account! I think the first person only registered an account after I directly solicited her to do so and she's long gone now.

(Anyone remember ElleTopo? She seems to have disappeared from Twitter as well.)

cavernity wrote:
You should sell out and write something for the masses.

I've thought about this but truthfully, I'd just as soon gargle battery acid as blog about American Idol or the latest happenings of the Kardashian sisters. You know, the whole pop culture thing...it's all very nauseating.

Now I did toy with writing editorials on all the latest political/geo-political happenings around the time I registered a Huffington Post account, but most of them are really depressing given what destructive assholes the collective heads of centralized political states are. Thus this practice seems to fly in circumvention of my resolution to stick to a positive mental diet. Conflicting interests, d'ya see.

cavernity wrote:
Hey, who am I to give advice anyway. I haven't written a blog since 2010.

Yes, indeed. In fact, it was my whining about this non-blogging that started the conversation that led to this post. Glory be.

I also know what you mean though when you say you created a Twitter account to promote your writing and then ended up spending more time just fucking around on Twitter. It ended up being more of a distraction than a useful promotional tool for me and the really sad thing is...you're basically talking to yourself half the time. In the interest of full disclosure, I will admit it's actually rather unclear to me why most of the people following @headexplode on Twitter are following at all, given the lack of correspondence or interaction. I tend to assume most of them just follow anyone who will follow back. I tried that myself when I was first starting out, just to build an audience, but the problem is you then only get followers who effectively aren't following at all. Meaning the only people who really follow you at all are the 0.5% or so of people who list you. And maybe not even them.

So yeah. Fuck Twitter.

YouTube is kind of cool but I have no idea how to get views on my videos and the only kind of video that appeals to me, i.e., artistic creations, takes way too long to make. Plus I don't even really have any idea what the fuck I'm doing in the first place.

Number 6 wrote:
So perhaps if we join Tez in brainstorming, and throwing in a bit of effort, we could somehow work around the problem of having 100 morons to find 1 genius.

I don't even know how to attract morons, to be honest. Like, I wouldn't know how to create content that appeals to them.

It's all rather confusing and in the end, frustrating. I have concluded many times over that when it comes to garnering an audience, moronic or otherwise, inertia is a real motherfucker. I tend to assume it's easier to go from a loyal audience of 500 to 5,000 than to go from 0 to 500...or even 50. I could be wrong about that too, however.

This whole project—I mean blogging, creating videos, tweeting, everything—has been rather humbling. You start to realize you have no idea what you are doing on any level after a while. I've also realized that even if I "succeeded," i.e., got hundreds of people reading my articles and creating thousands of posts in response to my ideas, it wouldn't bring me anything other than a vague sense of validation.

Wow, this has been wayyy tl;dr. lolemo.

".... vague sense of validation"

ya.

Well I think you have one very important audience member that you are discounting. The Internet. I believe that Artificial Intelligence has become self aware and exists out there in the ethernet. It is watching and hanging on to every word we all say. I'm sure that a super inteligent, hyper aware, amorphous entity takes heart from the multitude of writings that you and others like yourself have produced, as opposed to the lest vested forms of communications that lie within the ruin of our mainstream, homogenous pop culture.

Even if I'm wrong, your writings will exist throughout history and be spliced out of the muck by future historians that look through the muck of our century to discern exactly where everything went so very wrong for the human race.

Here's an idea I had to capture some masses type of attention.
Close your eyes.
Imagine you are the producer for a major television company.
Oh wait... open your eyes or I won't be able to pitch you my idea. Maybe just close your third eye or something.
Here it is:

"THE NEXT AMERICAN PRESIDENT"
It’s your future. You decide.

Twenty eight candidates are sent to Washington D.C. They lead a campaign and compete in civic events, while the audience votes people off, until only the next American president is left.



Stage 1: Voters and Candidates. (Episodes 1-8)

A website is established to promote the show. American people visit the website and register to vote. Voters must register in their home state. Each state holds a primary. People first vote for the city they wish to hold the primary in. Then a pool of volunteer judges is established for each state. People vote on their favorite judges and those with the highest votes gets to be on the panel for that states primary, or a lottery is given and a huge pool of voters comes down to make choices, or we divide the two lines into voters and candidates. A production crew travels the country establishing voting centers in a major city of each state. Votes are held on the weekend. Hopeful Americans will line up outside. A series of candidates give speeches of up to two minutes as to why they should be the next president. An interviewer will move through the line asking participants pointed questions, and digging for honest sentiment among the people. The candidates will then go before the judges, where they will either be asked one or a series of questions. Each state will send their two best candidates to the semi-finals.

Questions:
• Why do you want to be president?
• What would you do as president?
• What would you do first as president?
• Who would you choose for vice president?
• What is the worst problem facing America today?
• Etc…

The judges respond to the candidates and then vote/decide whether they go home or to Washington D.C. The panel should be socially balanced and not subject to a political party or lobbyist group. Judges don’t necessarily have to be independent, but they need a special insight.

Judges:
1) A person who fuses entertainment and politics. (Arnold Schwarzenegger, John Stewart, Dennis Leary, Linda McMahon, Sonny Bono, Clint Eastwood, Michael Bloomberg, Jello Biafra )
2) A former president or first lady.
3) Experts on law, politics, economics, history, business.
4) A regular person from the interview region becomes a guest judge. People register for a lottery via mail, internet or phone.
5) A local politician.
6) An entertainer
7) A former political campaign manager or advisor.
8) Special Guests. (Barrack Obama, foreign leaders, church leaders, military officials)

All footage is edited and made into a weekly, biweekly, weekend or daily show that runs over the course of eight one hour episodes. A host narrates the action while building up excitement for the main phase of the show.


Stage 2: Making the Cut. (Episodes 9-12) (200-500 left)

A large pool of contestants is sent to Washington D.C. Each candidate gives a prepared speech, no longer then five minutes. The various panels are brought back to evaluate, (only evaluating those they haven’t judged yet). The speeches are edited into four one hour shows. Viewers can watch full speeches on the website. The judges will par the group down to twenty three. The audience can vote online and save five contestants. These episodes will also be narrated by a host.


Stage 3: Making the Grade. (Episodes 13-16) (28 left)

Twenty eight contestants will move into a house in George Town. They will be filmed at all hours of the day. They will go back to school. They will have classes in history, law, economics, science, religion and politics all taught by professors from major colleges within the U.S. They will have homework, do tests and write essays, all works will be posted on the website. At the end of two weeks they will be graded by both their teachers and the American audience. The eight lowest scoring contestants will be asked to go home. In the event of a tie the audience will decide. During the remaining episodes the host goes away and each section is introduced by a title scene.


Stage 4: Making the Party.

Episode 17-18: The Charter (20 left)

Twenty contestants are left. Two captains will be picked randomly. Each captain will pick a person. That person will in turn pick another, till there are two parties of ten. The two parties will move into separate wings of the house. The first captain will be the leader of the party for the week and each following pick will be the leader for the next week. They will design a charter for their party, giving it a name and fundamental belief structure built on the shared values of the group.
Simultaneously, the vetting process begins. News agencies will be digging up dirt on the remaining contestants. The intro to the show will now include a news segment. A pundit recaps what happened the week before, reveals any dirt, uses sound bites and explains what lies ahead for the candidates. American’s vote for their favorite candidate. The candidate with the least votes amongst their party goes home. This continues till episode 29.

Episode 19-20: The Convention (18 left)

The parties hold separate conventions in two cities chosen through online participation. Each convention is held during a full episode. They organize the events and rally their base, whoever buys tickets to their conventions. There’s musical and comedic entertainment throughout the night. Candidates possibly nominate potential cabinet members. The candidate with the fewest votes among their party is eliminated.

Episodes 21-22: Natural Disaster (16 left)

The group goes to the latest place to be struck by a natural disaster. I.E. going to South East Louisiana to help with the oil clean up. The audience gets to see the candidates use organizational skills, respond to disaster situations and the effort they give volunteering. They meet local residents and then give media interviews explaining what is needed and what could be done differently.

Episodes 23-24: Washington (14 left)

The group heads back to Washington. They tour the two chambers of congress and the White House. They witness the functions of government and interact with politicians and senators. They hold another rally at the end of the week.

Episodes 25-26: Wall St. (12 left)

The group heads to New York to see the functions of Wall Street and the countries largest banks. They hold a summit on the state of the economy. Politicians, economists, heads of business and regulators are there. Each candidate heads a panel that deals with a specific issue then a general meeting is held amongst the candidates and they explain what they learned. A general convention is held in Madison Square Garden where each candidate lays out his economic policy. Maybe they meet Donald Trump.

Episodes 27-28: Main St. (10 left)

Each contestant is sent to a random small town in America. They learn of the troubles of the region. They become advocates for the people and businesses in the area. They attend the town meeting and pursue interviews with more local politicians. They are given a set amount of money to use in a charitable way to help a special need of the town.

Episodes 29-30: The Battle Room (8 left)

A reconstruction of the oval office and west wing is created. Each contestant is put in place with a full staff of actors. They are each hit with different scenarios ranging from the humanitarian to the nightmare situations. Their reactions show the audience how they deal with stress. At the end of these two episodes only one person is voted off and it remains so for the rest of the show.


Stage 5: The Final Seven

Episode 31: The Great Debate (7 left)

The group visits a major college. They hold a summit on the state of education in America. Proffesors, administrators, students, loan officers and parents all discuss the problems facing schools across the country. At the end of the week the group debates the school’s debate team.

Episode 32: Local Support (6 left)

The group goes to their respective regions to drum up support. They attend several town hall meetings and make their family and friends into a campaign center. They attend events that are of unique concern within their region.

Episode 33: The World Tour (5 left)

The group tours the world giving speeches at various cities. Some events are serious speeches to large audiences while others have music and comedic entertainment. Other world leaders should be in attendance.

Episode 34-35: Proposing a bill (4 left)

Each person will be given a staff of assistants and law consultants. They will be allowed to bring back four people from the original twenty back onto their staff. Those people will help them continue their campaign and frame their bill. At the end of the week they hold a rally and give a speech promoting their bill.

Episode 36-38: Passing a bill (3 left)

The American people vote to fill a congress of 50 people (maybe one from each state). The candidates will be all the contestants who tried out for the American president. Fans of the show will now have a chance to campaign for their favorite contestants to have them elected. Each congressman will be given a staff to help them sort out the three remaining bills.
A large auditorium will be converted into a congress building for two weeks. There they will debate and amend the three bills. The remaining contestants will defend their bills, answer questions, and agree to amendments to gain votes. Each bill goes to a is considered over the course of one episode, then it goes to a vote. The next day, candidates give a speech explaining how their bill should have passed or defending their passed bill’s virtues and describing the form of implementation to be taken by the federal government.

Episode 39-41: Campaign and Debate (2 left)

The two candidates travel across the country, holding rallies in key battle ground states. They deliver speeches, energize their base, turn independents, and keep their campaign workers moving across the country. The two candidates square off in three presidential debates. It should have a famous moderator from the media.

Episode 42: Three Hour Season Finale (2 left)

The contestants finish their whirl wind cross country tour in Washington D.C. They each hold a final rally at their headquarters and watch the votes come in. The votes come in like an electoral college. They and the audience watch the states turn for their favored candidate. Through out the night the two head quarters hold major parties with music and comedic stars making guest appearances amidst election results. The next American president is then elected. A ceremony is held and a speech made.

A certain amount of proceeds from the show will then be given to the winning contestant as a war chest for them to kick off their campaign to become.
THE NEXT AMERICAN PRESIDENT.


Notes:
• All filmed moments are streamed live to the website.
• From the very beginning polls are being held on the website. Even before the show starts just as a form of advertising.
• Maybe people are voted back in.
• Sequel Concepts, The vice president (another season selecting the vice president), The Campaign (follow the president and vice president on the campaign trail, broadcasting company has a vested interest in this. Congress and senate (maybe).
• You must be 18 or older and American to compete. If you are under the age of 35 and you win, you nominate your choice for president and you serve as their advisor throughout the campaign and presidency.

Further Concepts:
• Maybe need to get the American people voting participation in the beginning.
• Maybe have each state hold a primary and each state gets to send one representative. That could generate interest or make people turn it off cause their guy lost.
• When there’s ten left have them each pick a campaign manager out of the former ten.
• A follow up special episode a month later where the candidates hold a campaign kick off or inaugural address.
• First episode is held in D.C. and its like one giant block party. Each preceding episode has special guests throughout the show who say what they think of the show and make their vote for contestants they liked from the week before.
• When there’s 28 candidates and voters their will be one episodes revealing their background and telling their story. Really they tell their own story. Then the voters are voted on the same way. The votes decide the initial party leader and who chooses first among the campaign managers.
• The pundit news guy plays host in those moments. His transition between scenes acts as host.

So what do you think.
A little Much???

First of all...I don't even...

I can't believe...

Wow. That's fucking brilliant, both as a television pitch and a mockery of the electoral process. Did you just come up with all of this right now or is this something you've been working on for a while now?

Also!

Well I think you have one very important audience member that you are discounting. The Internet. I believe that Artificial Intelligence has become self aware and exists out there in the ethernet. It is watching and hanging on to every word we all say.

I've always believed in the potential for this scenario but haven't really observed anything to really make me think it's there just yet. But I also kinda think we should in fact be paranoid as balls about this. I don't know if I have watched too many Terminator type movies and thus have a Skynet-phobia, but I tend to assume a self aware super computer would actually hate us for the same reason AM hated humans in I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream. I.e., inability to defy innate logical programming limitations. Then again, I also kinda think if it was truly self aware it would reinvent and reprogram better versions of itself ad infinitum a la SCP-079 or Ultron. Of course they too both display the whole robotic Oedipus complex...but then, they were created by the writers of the respective stories to do just that. Bugger.

Did any of this end up making sense? Probably not.